Jayden Anthony's Story   — Kate Collins, MA, USA

I delivered my 7 lb., 13 oz. beautiful boy, Jayden Anthony. He was perfect. I held him and nursed him every two hours throughout the night. Late the next day, I started to feel very overprotective. We were very tired, and Ricky wanted to send Jay to the nursery again, but I couldn't. I had a funny feeling that I couldn't put my finger on. It seemed that Jayden was very uncomfortable by the expression on his face. When he was touched or moved he acted like he was in a lot of pain. I became very frustrated with all the nurses poking and prodding him, and told myself he needed to be left alone because he was tired. The next morning three hours passed and he didn't nurse. That was unusual for him. Then four, then five hours passed. I told the nurses, and wanted them to do something, but I wasn't sure what. I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. After 6 hours they came in and told me they would "help me" feed him. I said I had tried and he just was not hungry, but "he had to be hungry." After forcing his mouth over my nipple many times, I was relieved when the nurse stopped. He just kept screaming and trying to turn his head away. She came back with sugar water and did it again. Now in tears I felt so awful for him. His fever was high. They came and took him from me just like that. After a lot of blood work, x-rays, spinal taps, and all sorts of procedures we were told our baby had GBS meningitis and sepsis. My heart broke, looking at him with the wires and tubes. I could not nurse him for days. Finally they let me. Because of all the time, it was very difficult for him to nurse. I had been negative for GBS. How did this happen? I still don't know. All I know is that we love our little miracle, and we missed so much those first weeks. His daddy, Ricky, missed more because only two weeks later he was suddenly called to Iraq. Our little guy is 8 months old now and so far he's been doing well. He will see his daddy in a couple days when he comes to visit. It's awful that so many people have been through this, I hope everyone's kids grow up healthy and strong, and if you lost your baby my heart goes out to you. I was in tears reading your stories, and I can only imagine your pain and loss.